Ode to Being Fucked Over

It would be false to claim I don’t recall
The first time I beheld your startling grace,
And more false still to claim I did not fall
Abruptly in lust with your flawless face.
But beyond the flesh and its warm promise,
Beyond the tight crush of a hopeful heart,
The purest of desires commands my sense.
When we first dared speak, no words were amiss,
Laughter and comfort sprang loose from the start,
Yet still remains a shard of dark suspense.

Increased moments spent melding our shadows,
Crossing each other’s dry, crumbling footprints,
We have made our time and space keen fellows,
Though I still reign in my wilder instincts.
When my voice stuttered the lines I long craved
To whisper to you, I made manifest,
The fiery music my mind madly played.
The soft shake of your head beckoned a grave
And laid me down into eternal rest,
Though still I desperately breathed, sobbed and prayed.

As weeks have passed. I have glimpsed your slim form,
Delicately laughing, dancing and such,
Whilst I wander in a desolate storm,
Grieving the stranger I loved so much.
If only you could say ‘yes’ and draw close,
Let your silken breath run over my skin,
I would sleep peacefully forever more.
But dreams ignite in a world no one knows
Reality does not trespass within,
No new salvation breaks open its door.